weirdness

so here's something that strikes me a bit odd...
i recently got in touch with a high school freidn on facebook. we were the only 2 weirdos in our school. the only 2 that wore black clothes and combat boots, black eyeliner, and dark red listick. we were pale as we could be in south florida - in a sea of suntans and pastels. we did just about everything together. we started going to clubs together (granted, they were silly little teen clubs) but we always went together. then at some point close to the end of our senior year i think something in her changed. i think immediately after graduation - we stopped being friends. we stopped hanging out, going to clubs and what not. we seemed to have no reason to hang around each other anymore. and then i remember someone telling me that she would talk about me behind my back. she called me a social butterfly. i started hanging out with some new friends, my gays - they took me in and showed me how much fun i had been missing - introduced me to drugs, gay bars and all other sorts of debouchery and fun. i never had ill feelings towards this person. and 20 years later, i can easily chalk it up to simply being sick of each other. we went to shcool together from 3rd to 12th grade! it was time to be apart. but i have to admit - at the time, i thought it was shitty that she would talk shit about me - resent me for my outgoingness and popularity. i had my own issues with self worth and acceptance, which we can get into later. so - intead of confronting her - i just let it go and tried to get as far away from her and everyone from my childhood as possible.
so here we are 20+ years later. she misses me! she wants to come visit. she "doesn't remember" why we stopped talking or hanging out. whatever, we're grown ups - i can forget, too.
but she has assumed a significant part of my personality - something that she certainly didn't embrace as emphatically as i did in shcool - and that is a fascination for Oscar Wilde. i picked up on it from The Smiths and this person who tortured me - my first love - another entirely different blog all together. i wrote term papers and read his work. now - she quotes him nearly everyday on the facebooks.
i don't know why i find it odd. i just do.

everyday doesn't always mean everyday

like weekends or when i'm out of town. i guess i could have written while in seattle on business, but when i thought of it - i really just wanted to get away from the computer and walk around town and i'm so glad i did!

i went to the harbor, pioneer square (really cool shops & antique mall when i scored some sparklies!) and pike st market - which i completely forgot even existed! i found that by accident by just turning a corner and i was lovely! i got a few really good books - super cheap in this dusty little book store.

i like seattle - each time i've been there, the weather has been lovely. i'm sure it gets triesome when it rains all the time and you don't see the sun for days and weeks on end - but i have not experienced that. i like seattle much more than san francisco. it's really pretty, lots of history and lots of creativity. it's not dirty and crazy like san francisco...don't get me wrong, there's planty of dirty and crazy, just not like san fran, where dirty and crazy are militant and aggressive about it.

see! i almost forgot!

a little bit of time everyday....
let's see...today we'll update some x activity...in the past few months the x threw a temper tantrum b/c he found out he was not invited to a birthday party because i was instead. he saw photos on facebook and posted some shitty childish (of course) comments. he wouldn't take anyone's calls or listen to any explaination or apology. he deleted these friend and posted a blog declaring that he was cutting out the "assholes and users" from his life. he has found that with his mother's grave illness, he does not "have time" for these people. to that we all say "good riddance." he's a big ball of negativity and they/we are all releived to not have to tippy toe around him anymore.
what's kinda funny about the whole thing is that cut back to 2 years ago, a birthday/new year's eve party for the mutual friends recently ostracised by the x - i was not invited. i called to tell the friend that i didn't feel comfirtable going, to which he said "there were several people i did not invite to my party because i invited your x instead - i just didn't want any drama on my bday. to which i understood, and after hanging up the phone thought...wait a minute! i called to send my regrets that i wasn't going to make it to a party i wasn't even invited to? there were photos posted, looks like everyone had a good time. i quietly sulked away and didn't talk to a lot of these people for a long time...almost 2 years until i was invited to this bday party in march. it just shows how childish, narcissitic and how socially inept he truly is. so he has the people around him that don't rock the boat, don't question him, offend him or deny him his irrational behaviors in anyway. (except his immediate family, i suppose) good luck...enjoy!

once a day

so my best friend says to me today - just try to give your blog 10 minutes a day & don't beat yourself up about it if you don't. so that's what i'm doing. i also just bought a laptop, which will allow me more freedom than being tied to a desktop. i have so much to tell! a lot has happened and i have a lot of venting to do. a good friend is configuring the laptop for me, so all the settings are set appropriately. it's going to be very nice to have a new, clean laptop computer all to myself, without the bad juju that the x managed to dump into my desktop while surfing porn and downloading questionable files from questionable sources. (idiot) my desktop, while TITS when i first got it in 2001, is acting up and it probably on its way out. it was frankensteined together by my computer literate friends - and tekmologie has come so far, it really makes much more sense for me to have a laptop. so i forked over the $$ - on sale, a fair price $399 and good quality (toshiba) according to the my tek genious friend.
cheers my friend! to more blogging that no one will ever read!!!