so its been a year since my mom died. a year and a day. time seems to go by more quickly now. i'm not sure if it's because i'm 40, because she's gone and i don't talk to her or wait to see her anymore or all of the above. but this year has flown by.
i haven't talked to my sister in a little over a month. she's mad at me because i got irritated with her for asking me for money. i just can't get over the choices she has made in her life. i know that they are her choices, and i should not and cannot judge - i just don't know where or what our relationship is anymore. i didn't hear from my uncle either. again - so far away from them - so detached. i feel like they have let go, and perhaps so should i. my sister and i were supposed to go to florida this month and spread my mother's ashes in the ocean, bonsidering she just asked me for $$, and we haven't talked, she obviously doesn't have her shit together enough to get to FL. it's going to be more of a process for me to get there, she 's just going to drive - i have to take time off work, fly, rent a car or get someone to pick me up at the airport and whatever. plus we "planned" on inviting my mother's friends to the...memorial...some of them are out of state, too so they need to plan. maybe next year? shitty of us, isn't it?
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