Bonus

ok, so i think i've mentioned before how totally done i am with the music business, my job of the past 20+ years. i am dialing it in at my current job, and pretty much have been doing so since my mother died around this time last year. it's not important to me, i don't care about the artists we work with, sales, or anything of the sort. i've spent over 1/2 my life working and trying really hard to get recognized, be acknowledged for my experience and talents at my job. now, i'm being recognized and rewarded for mediocre work, lack of effort, passion and drive - all the while being told i'm doing great work, putting forth a lot of effort and admired for my passion and drive. it confuses me. it shocks me. i don't understand it really. i spend the greater part of my day fucking off...surfing the net, IMing, whatever - actual work time is minimal. i sit in an office all day, alone, no one watching over me, monitoring me or anything. i even FORGOT to turn in my weekly report of what the fuck i did all week last week and no one batted an eye! the owner just gave me $200 for "kicking ass" - really, i didn't DO anything! i sent a couple of emails and a vague promise to possibly commit to something that may or may not happen. (if it doesn't, so i have to give the bonus back?)
weird. just weird.