my bff came to town over this past weekend for her bday. so, i was pretty busy. we went shopping, site seeing, disney, more shopping, eating, more eating & had lots of fun. dude was sick, so he didn't come along most of the time and after she left last nite, he told me that he was dissappointed at my lack of consideration and attentiveness to his illnessi could do nothing but apologize. he was also concerned at the fact that i had taken vicodin while at disney. i don't have a "problem" - just like to partake from time to time. no big deal and it hardly phazed me. whatever. we'll leave the part out about sharing clonopin with the bff the whole weekend, too. jeeze. when boys get sick - they are really impossible.
also - i've been obsessing while not working on this website about a 7 year old girl with schitzophrenia. i came across the story on a gossip site that was hammering oprah for her lack of compassion for the child during an expose/interview. i skipped the oprah part and went straight to the source - which is a blog by the parents of this little girl and their daily struggles in keeping her alive and happy. it's a blog for parents of severely mentally ill children or relatives and it's absolutely captivating! so much so, that i found myself compelled to help in some way. it turns out there is a non-profit all volunteer group called NAMI, and i offered my services to support data entry. i am expecting a call this evening from the person in charge. he/she said they just did a mailing or something like that and have a lot of handwritten data to be processed. i can do that shit in my sleep! maybe this will lead to something more fufulling. i don't think i'm ready for hands on care for the mentally ill, but this could get me in the door to other non-profit work that could satisfy my cravings for a life of meaning, fufillment, inspiration, and purpose!
Thursday, October 15, 2009
Friday, October 9, 2009
well now that's completely different!
so i suck it up and decide to confront the bossman. turns out, he didn't read ANY of the emails that went out and had NO IDEA how the holiday/vacation/pay information had been deceminated to the rest of the company.
turns out - if you've been here for over a year you WILL be paid for the 3 days mentioned in my previous post. if you have NOT, you MIGHT be asked to come in for 1/2 days and can use ONE vacation day to cover those 3 days IF you are called in, IF it is so busy that bossman needs the help. (he won't - it's deader than dead during the holidays)
so i apologized profusely for coming off accusatory in anyway or being confrontational. i told him i understood completely and that i am glad that we talked. he is going to explain it to the rest of the company in our monday conference call.
whether he truly accepted my apology or not, i really don't care and i kinda doubt it - he'll carry that around as an attack to anyone and everyone else he can.
i hasn't deterred my one bit to find another job.
he's still a douche.
turns out - if you've been here for over a year you WILL be paid for the 3 days mentioned in my previous post. if you have NOT, you MIGHT be asked to come in for 1/2 days and can use ONE vacation day to cover those 3 days IF you are called in, IF it is so busy that bossman needs the help. (he won't - it's deader than dead during the holidays)
so i apologized profusely for coming off accusatory in anyway or being confrontational. i told him i understood completely and that i am glad that we talked. he is going to explain it to the rest of the company in our monday conference call.
whether he truly accepted my apology or not, i really don't care and i kinda doubt it - he'll carry that around as an attack to anyone and everyone else he can.
i hasn't deterred my one bit to find another job.
he's still a douche.
Thursday, October 8, 2009
HEY COCKSMOKER! EAT A BAG O' DICKS!!
that goes out special to the owner of the company i work for.
we just found out today that we are not getting paid for 3 days during the christmas break. in our joke of a business, it is customary to close the offices for the week between christmas and new year's. we did last year. we are however, expected to be "on call" or available in case of emergency. (define "emergency" in the fucking music business) the only "emergency" i could imagine would be michael jackson rising from the grave and doing a moon walk. or many U2 dying in a firely plane crash (one can only hope) and both of those scenarios do not affect me in any way shape or form. i do not work for sony, universal, or interscope. if one of our shitty artists died over the holidays, trust me, no one would give a fuck and sicne we are tits on a bowl, the most middle of middle men; a marketing company, there's not fuck all i could do but get in the way anyway. managers, head of labels and distribution would have to deal with that shit - i would be the LAST person anyone would need to get involved.
so we found out TODAY that we will not get paid for 12/28-30. IF we have been with the company for more than a year, we can use any vacation, personal, or sick time we may have left and use them to get paid for those 3 days. well, fuck - if i had KNOWN i was getting fucked out of holiday pay - i might have planned my personal and vacation time differently. thanks for the rule change mid court motherfucker! oh, and the offices will be closed anyway, so even if we wanted to work and get paid, we can't - we're "closed. " even though we all have keys to the office and could come in if we wanted to...we're closed and won't get paid. WHAT.THE.FUCK!
and let me just say - this cocksmoker, the one who has been fucking the "HR Director" is about to sell 1/2 of the company for $500k. FIVE HUNDRED THOUSAND dollars - is getting a divorce, (just broke up with the HR chick yesterday apparently) and now I am loosing my holiday pay?!
motherFUCKER
i just got 3 days worth of more motivation to get outta here.
we just found out today that we are not getting paid for 3 days during the christmas break. in our joke of a business, it is customary to close the offices for the week between christmas and new year's. we did last year. we are however, expected to be "on call" or available in case of emergency. (define "emergency" in the fucking music business) the only "emergency" i could imagine would be michael jackson rising from the grave and doing a moon walk. or many U2 dying in a firely plane crash (one can only hope) and both of those scenarios do not affect me in any way shape or form. i do not work for sony, universal, or interscope. if one of our shitty artists died over the holidays, trust me, no one would give a fuck and sicne we are tits on a bowl, the most middle of middle men; a marketing company, there's not fuck all i could do but get in the way anyway. managers, head of labels and distribution would have to deal with that shit - i would be the LAST person anyone would need to get involved.
so we found out TODAY that we will not get paid for 12/28-30. IF we have been with the company for more than a year, we can use any vacation, personal, or sick time we may have left and use them to get paid for those 3 days. well, fuck - if i had KNOWN i was getting fucked out of holiday pay - i might have planned my personal and vacation time differently. thanks for the rule change mid court motherfucker! oh, and the offices will be closed anyway, so even if we wanted to work and get paid, we can't - we're "closed. " even though we all have keys to the office and could come in if we wanted to...we're closed and won't get paid. WHAT.THE.FUCK!
and let me just say - this cocksmoker, the one who has been fucking the "HR Director" is about to sell 1/2 of the company for $500k. FIVE HUNDRED THOUSAND dollars - is getting a divorce, (just broke up with the HR chick yesterday apparently) and now I am loosing my holiday pay?!
motherFUCKER
i just got 3 days worth of more motivation to get outta here.
hi follower!!
i have my first follower!! hellooooo out there!! i hope you don't mind that i will continue to scream - no matter who might be listening!
and the profanities will not stop - i assume you are ok with that since you decided to follow.
please...walk this way....
and the profanities will not stop - i assume you are ok with that since you decided to follow.
please...walk this way....
Tuesday, October 6, 2009
death & taxes & the x (a long one)
as you may or may not know - the end of a 10 year relationship with the x (a narccissist) included me filing for personal bankruptcy. the BK dicharged in feb 09.
in 2006 when i changed jobs/careers, my bi-monthly payroll schedule did not jive with my financial commitments for rent and other living expenses. the x was not working (he rarely did) so the household finances were my responsibility. i had a 401k with my previous employer, so i withdrew that money, put enough aside to meet the hit i would take on taxes and floated us until the payroll from the new job came in.
the x, still never worked. 4 months in to the new job, the employer decides that i am not an good fit, and laid me off. this was december of 06. had i stayed with that job, i would have been making a fairly decent amount of money. i had just finished my christmas shopping, still had the tax money in the bank + a little more, and felt pretty good about everything, even considering the x wasn't working. so here it is, december, no work, and several weeks of fighting for unemployment...several weeks go by, christmas, new year's, still fighting for unemployment, the x still doing fucking nothing.
so, i had to use the money i had set aside to pay off the tax hit from the w/d of my 401k to live. that was february 2007. that's when i knew it had to end. i was done with him, and didn't know how to end it. i was scared, i was trapped, i did't have a job, no $$ and certainly nowhere to go. april 07 i start a shitty job, for very little money. suffice it to say, the x probably wasn't working. i had to go to my mom for money most of the time. i tell him again i want to break up, i can't do it anymore.
may 2007, a few days after my father's bday, my sister calls me at work to tell me my dad had died. my fatehr and i had been estranged for sometime, so it really didn't phase me, still hasn't really. but i went home from the shitty job anyway, took the rest of the day off. here's where the timeline gets a little fuzzy....i think within 2 weeks my mother tells us she has lung cancer. she says all this time they have been treating her for bronchitus and pneumonia - they finally diagnosed her with cancer. she says she will undergo chemotherapy, and avoids the "how long do you have" question/answer.
i file for an extention on the '06 taxes, because i know i'm going to owe - and i did, made payment arrangements & all. late november of 07, i secure a BK lawyer. i had gone to collections on all my credit cards, mostly in part due to the fact that i had to support a household on my income and food, power, and rent come before credit card bills. when you secure a BK lawyer, all collections stop - even collections like for me, my taxes and car payment, that i was making regularly. (with the help of my mom from time to time)
july 2008 my mom dies, and i use the very small amount of money she left me to pay off the BK lawyer and proceed with filing. it dischared in feb '09. i file an extention again for my '08 taxes and i think in march or april recieved a notice that now that my BK has discharged CA wants their money.
august of 09, the x's mom dies of cancer. she leaves him and his brother her house, which was paid in full, car, and from what i gather, a substanical amount of money between the 2 of them. granted, the brother got the house, b/c he is the responsible one and the x is allowed to live there, and only has to help out with the property taxes every year. the brother and his wife have accepted the fact that the x will never be able to take care of himself like an adult.
i got confused because i thought my 2007 tax return credit, covered my 2006 taxes owed. i also thought i had paid my 2006 taxes off, but could not find the cancelled check anywhere. i sent the information into the tax accountant - it was april - he was kinda busy (obviously). i didn't hear back, got a few more notices. when i finally got my taxes done, tax guy told me i had to pay it, so i did. check cleared, thank you drive thru please.
THEN - my employer recieves notification that CA tax board wants to garnish my wages!! i spent the better part of te morning trying to get thru to the franchise tax board, and much like my experiences with EDD - too many calls & they hang up on you! it's amazing. unemployment is something like 12% in CA, and they don't have anough people to answer phones or can't have a system that adequately puts calls in a line. long story shot (i know, too late) i have to pay the interest and late fee's on top of what i already paid. fuckers. whatever, they remove the garnish from my wages, i make arrangments to pay the balance in full, just to get it behind me.
so here's the rub.
for 10 years, i fucking supported this asshole. gave him all the time and support he needed to figure out what he wanted to do - with his music career and life - want to write music to make money - do it, great. paid bills, bought him gear, i just wanted him to pay his 1/2. he never, hardly ever did. my mom paid out thousands of dollars to help support us when he wouldn't go to his family, or if he did - they wouldn't help or insisted that he actually do work aroudn thewir house to get $$ from them. my mom never questioned - just helped as she could.
now that the x has money - goddammit - he should pay me back!! at least put forth a gentlemanly EFFORT! he fucking got the house that i took a loan out for my 401k to rent, the furniture that i paid more than 1/2 of, TV that was a gift from my mom, fridge, microwave (another gift from mom, washer and dryer that was mine!!! then when he moved out of that house and into his mother's - he took ALL of that stuff and put it in storage!!
isn't it only FAIR that he make an effort to give me something? i mean, i have spreadsheets the i used to budget our bills that show how little he gave me at any given time. i can calculate an approximate of what he owes me. shouldn't i be entitled to at least a portion of that?
i have to write him a letter (as he has done several times) or perhaps approach his brother and sister-in-law as mediators. i don't know. this is going to be tough. you can't negotiate with crazy.
that's my rant for today. sorry it was a long one...
in 2006 when i changed jobs/careers, my bi-monthly payroll schedule did not jive with my financial commitments for rent and other living expenses. the x was not working (he rarely did) so the household finances were my responsibility. i had a 401k with my previous employer, so i withdrew that money, put enough aside to meet the hit i would take on taxes and floated us until the payroll from the new job came in.
the x, still never worked. 4 months in to the new job, the employer decides that i am not an good fit, and laid me off. this was december of 06. had i stayed with that job, i would have been making a fairly decent amount of money. i had just finished my christmas shopping, still had the tax money in the bank + a little more, and felt pretty good about everything, even considering the x wasn't working. so here it is, december, no work, and several weeks of fighting for unemployment...several weeks go by, christmas, new year's, still fighting for unemployment, the x still doing fucking nothing.
so, i had to use the money i had set aside to pay off the tax hit from the w/d of my 401k to live. that was february 2007. that's when i knew it had to end. i was done with him, and didn't know how to end it. i was scared, i was trapped, i did't have a job, no $$ and certainly nowhere to go. april 07 i start a shitty job, for very little money. suffice it to say, the x probably wasn't working. i had to go to my mom for money most of the time. i tell him again i want to break up, i can't do it anymore.
may 2007, a few days after my father's bday, my sister calls me at work to tell me my dad had died. my fatehr and i had been estranged for sometime, so it really didn't phase me, still hasn't really. but i went home from the shitty job anyway, took the rest of the day off. here's where the timeline gets a little fuzzy....i think within 2 weeks my mother tells us she has lung cancer. she says all this time they have been treating her for bronchitus and pneumonia - they finally diagnosed her with cancer. she says she will undergo chemotherapy, and avoids the "how long do you have" question/answer.
i file for an extention on the '06 taxes, because i know i'm going to owe - and i did, made payment arrangements & all. late november of 07, i secure a BK lawyer. i had gone to collections on all my credit cards, mostly in part due to the fact that i had to support a household on my income and food, power, and rent come before credit card bills. when you secure a BK lawyer, all collections stop - even collections like for me, my taxes and car payment, that i was making regularly. (with the help of my mom from time to time)
july 2008 my mom dies, and i use the very small amount of money she left me to pay off the BK lawyer and proceed with filing. it dischared in feb '09. i file an extention again for my '08 taxes and i think in march or april recieved a notice that now that my BK has discharged CA wants their money.
august of 09, the x's mom dies of cancer. she leaves him and his brother her house, which was paid in full, car, and from what i gather, a substanical amount of money between the 2 of them. granted, the brother got the house, b/c he is the responsible one and the x is allowed to live there, and only has to help out with the property taxes every year. the brother and his wife have accepted the fact that the x will never be able to take care of himself like an adult.
i got confused because i thought my 2007 tax return credit, covered my 2006 taxes owed. i also thought i had paid my 2006 taxes off, but could not find the cancelled check anywhere. i sent the information into the tax accountant - it was april - he was kinda busy (obviously). i didn't hear back, got a few more notices. when i finally got my taxes done, tax guy told me i had to pay it, so i did. check cleared, thank you drive thru please.
THEN - my employer recieves notification that CA tax board wants to garnish my wages!! i spent the better part of te morning trying to get thru to the franchise tax board, and much like my experiences with EDD - too many calls & they hang up on you! it's amazing. unemployment is something like 12% in CA, and they don't have anough people to answer phones or can't have a system that adequately puts calls in a line. long story shot (i know, too late) i have to pay the interest and late fee's on top of what i already paid. fuckers. whatever, they remove the garnish from my wages, i make arrangments to pay the balance in full, just to get it behind me.
so here's the rub.
for 10 years, i fucking supported this asshole. gave him all the time and support he needed to figure out what he wanted to do - with his music career and life - want to write music to make money - do it, great. paid bills, bought him gear, i just wanted him to pay his 1/2. he never, hardly ever did. my mom paid out thousands of dollars to help support us when he wouldn't go to his family, or if he did - they wouldn't help or insisted that he actually do work aroudn thewir house to get $$ from them. my mom never questioned - just helped as she could.
now that the x has money - goddammit - he should pay me back!! at least put forth a gentlemanly EFFORT! he fucking got the house that i took a loan out for my 401k to rent, the furniture that i paid more than 1/2 of, TV that was a gift from my mom, fridge, microwave (another gift from mom, washer and dryer that was mine!!! then when he moved out of that house and into his mother's - he took ALL of that stuff and put it in storage!!
isn't it only FAIR that he make an effort to give me something? i mean, i have spreadsheets the i used to budget our bills that show how little he gave me at any given time. i can calculate an approximate of what he owes me. shouldn't i be entitled to at least a portion of that?
i have to write him a letter (as he has done several times) or perhaps approach his brother and sister-in-law as mediators. i don't know. this is going to be tough. you can't negotiate with crazy.
that's my rant for today. sorry it was a long one...
Monday, October 5, 2009
Hallowe'en
My favorite time of year! we are very excited!! planning festivities and participating in as many activities as possible.
this past saturday we attended a genuine SPOOKSHOW and this unbelievabluy pheonomenal home in hancock park. fer ef's sake WHO LIVES IN THESE HOUSES?!? oh, "old" hollywood money, for starters. this home has belonged to a magician's family for over 75 years. each year his daughter/grandaughter? and her dausters (at this point) hold a private party for the Happy unholy Holiday. (it was just a magic show, really...slight of hand, silver rings, etc.) oh if only it had involved some of the dark magic...that would have been delightfully frightful!
the home itself was/is exquisite! the incorporated the history of the property into the story of the magic show, presented by the most creepiest of hosts one could find. the house was built over a natual stream, that still flows, multilayered and lush with folliage beyond your wildest imaginations! just breathtaking! down one level, up another, up a short flight of stone steps to a fantastic pool. statuaries and candles everywhere. i tried to take photos, but i'm not one of those people that is very good at that kind of thing. either too much flash or not enough light. not to digress, but i know people with pretty much the same camera as me and every photo they take is great. i've read the manual, all i end up doing is pushing buttons and changing the settings beyond all recognition...
anyway...back to this house...unfortuately, i was having an allergy attack earlier in the day, huffed flonaise, no good, sudafed...nothing...one benedryl...nothing...showered, one more benedryl and another huff of flonaise later, the sneezing seemed to have subsided. dude was out of town and friends were driving, so i opted for a quick drink (vodka soda) and a quick little bonghit. (choke cough cough, uh oh.)
there was booze at the party, too. uh oh. now i'm not a big drinker...i had 2 more. filled a 3rd and went in to the theatre (yes, this house had it's own theatre!! - seriously, i lost could how many times i asked who i had to kill to live there!) stage, rows of seats, piano, a bar with hundreds of miniatures against the wall.
there were 6 dancers, in between each magic performance; reminicent of 20s style flappers, scantily clad, different shapes and sizes, but mostly small, dancer-like bodies. lovely. i found myself closing one eye so as not to see double...that's when i know i need to stop!
after the show, everyone began mingling, including the magicians, dancers, etc. at the snack table i started chatting with the piano player, who happened to appear in some klaus nomi documentary - apparent to all but myself in the conversation...he was a friend of judy, and wanted to get some booze, i joined him and we chatted. i was unfortunatley a little too buzzed to be all that charming.
next thing i know, my ride wants to leave and i have to make a hasty exit. i was disappointed, and entertained the idea of driving my drunk happy self BACK to the house after the friends dropped me off. in hindsight, it was for the best, most assuredly, since i probably would have ended up embarassing myself and/or others had i stayed and drank more.
there are things that have happened to me during my life in hollywood that make me feel like a better person having experienced them. The Spirits of Brooklegdge is one of them.
this past saturday we attended a genuine SPOOKSHOW and this unbelievabluy pheonomenal home in hancock park. fer ef's sake WHO LIVES IN THESE HOUSES?!? oh, "old" hollywood money, for starters. this home has belonged to a magician's family for over 75 years. each year his daughter/grandaughter? and her dausters (at this point) hold a private party for the Happy unholy Holiday. (it was just a magic show, really...slight of hand, silver rings, etc.) oh if only it had involved some of the dark magic...that would have been delightfully frightful!
the home itself was/is exquisite! the incorporated the history of the property into the story of the magic show, presented by the most creepiest of hosts one could find. the house was built over a natual stream, that still flows, multilayered and lush with folliage beyond your wildest imaginations! just breathtaking! down one level, up another, up a short flight of stone steps to a fantastic pool. statuaries and candles everywhere. i tried to take photos, but i'm not one of those people that is very good at that kind of thing. either too much flash or not enough light. not to digress, but i know people with pretty much the same camera as me and every photo they take is great. i've read the manual, all i end up doing is pushing buttons and changing the settings beyond all recognition...
anyway...back to this house...unfortuately, i was having an allergy attack earlier in the day, huffed flonaise, no good, sudafed...nothing...one benedryl...nothing...showered, one more benedryl and another huff of flonaise later, the sneezing seemed to have subsided. dude was out of town and friends were driving, so i opted for a quick drink (vodka soda) and a quick little bonghit. (choke cough cough, uh oh.)
there was booze at the party, too. uh oh. now i'm not a big drinker...i had 2 more. filled a 3rd and went in to the theatre (yes, this house had it's own theatre!! - seriously, i lost could how many times i asked who i had to kill to live there!) stage, rows of seats, piano, a bar with hundreds of miniatures against the wall.
there were 6 dancers, in between each magic performance; reminicent of 20s style flappers, scantily clad, different shapes and sizes, but mostly small, dancer-like bodies. lovely. i found myself closing one eye so as not to see double...that's when i know i need to stop!
after the show, everyone began mingling, including the magicians, dancers, etc. at the snack table i started chatting with the piano player, who happened to appear in some klaus nomi documentary - apparent to all but myself in the conversation...he was a friend of judy, and wanted to get some booze, i joined him and we chatted. i was unfortunatley a little too buzzed to be all that charming.
next thing i know, my ride wants to leave and i have to make a hasty exit. i was disappointed, and entertained the idea of driving my drunk happy self BACK to the house after the friends dropped me off. in hindsight, it was for the best, most assuredly, since i probably would have ended up embarassing myself and/or others had i stayed and drank more.
there are things that have happened to me during my life in hollywood that make me feel like a better person having experienced them. The Spirits of Brooklegdge is one of them.
Friday, October 2, 2009
Muse can suckit
OK - typical LA story....this morning i find out that Thom Yorke from Radiohead is playing a warm up show to his 2 sold out gigs next week with flea at this teeny tiny shitty club in hollywood. tix on sale @ noon. i got 4 other ppl online trying to get tix. the SECOND the clock hit 12, we all click...shit sold out immediately! THEN we find out that there is a release party upstairs from this teeny tiny club for the muse. evidently, there was never ever even the slightest chance that anyone was going to be able to buy tix tonite. i'm sure they are all going to industry people, label weenies and the like.
granted, i have had a full life of radiohead experiences - but that's an entirely different blog, all together - so i can die happy and satisfied, really. but i really would have liked to see thom do some of his solo stuff live at an intimate little club like that. (even if flea is shitting all over it on bass) it's just something about living in LA that you can't just have anything to yourself. EVERYONE is into EVERYTHING you are into. comics, movies, music, art - everything has a crowd and everything sells out in minutes. (except, oddly enough, virtually every band my x ever played in)
and as far as muse are concerned? they can suck it! they've always been the poor man's radiohead - the band that people say...i used to like radiohead before they got all art-y, now i like muse. fuck those guys. fuck that guy for trying to sound like thom yorke. if i had one person say to me: you like radiohead, you should like the muse, i had 10 people say it to me - and they can suck it too! how typical for there to be a party at the same place thome yorke is playing - how bloody original...be the promotional genius who thought that up got a big bonus.
the only other think i'd like beside seeing thom yorke play some solo stuff in a small club would be to sit down and have dinner with him. then i could really die happy.
granted, i have had a full life of radiohead experiences - but that's an entirely different blog, all together - so i can die happy and satisfied, really. but i really would have liked to see thom do some of his solo stuff live at an intimate little club like that. (even if flea is shitting all over it on bass) it's just something about living in LA that you can't just have anything to yourself. EVERYONE is into EVERYTHING you are into. comics, movies, music, art - everything has a crowd and everything sells out in minutes. (except, oddly enough, virtually every band my x ever played in)
and as far as muse are concerned? they can suck it! they've always been the poor man's radiohead - the band that people say...i used to like radiohead before they got all art-y, now i like muse. fuck those guys. fuck that guy for trying to sound like thom yorke. if i had one person say to me: you like radiohead, you should like the muse, i had 10 people say it to me - and they can suck it too! how typical for there to be a party at the same place thome yorke is playing - how bloody original...be the promotional genius who thought that up got a big bonus.
the only other think i'd like beside seeing thom yorke play some solo stuff in a small club would be to sit down and have dinner with him. then i could really die happy.
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