Blogrolls

Why are they all baby blogs? and if they aren't all baby blogs, then they are wedding blogs. what the f? where are all the cool, subversive, snarky, entertaining blogs? i've found a couple by accident - but they don't come up with i start scrolling from here. kinda lame. kinda bugging me.

LONGEST.WEEK.EVER

i've been laid off! and just in time for the holidays! "downsizing, reorganization, and strata changes in the industry are the reason given. but we know better don't we? i'm the only grown up in the room that hasn't high-5'd the asshole for banging the accounting chick. plus i know my rights when it comes to salary and doctor appts. they don't like that. they are going to pay me thru 12/31 - fine and my health insurance thru 1/31 - also fine. i'm just really glad to be going. relieved beyond all belief. i can't wait to find something else - anything else - even if it's just working part time. last day is this friday.

PTO/Vacay + Dr appts

so the shithead i work for tried to dock me a 1/2 day's work of vacation time for 3 dr appts i had taken over the past 8 months - tried to tell me i had no PTO left and that any future appts would result in a payroll deduction.
oh really?
at first i was so shocked that he even had the nerve to send me an email stating such outragousness. i mean - this is the OWNER of the company. he copied the new GM and my "boss" in minneapolis. didn't copy the head of HR (who he's fucking)
so i thought about it over the weekend and decided to check with the HR person, who is fucking the owner - and see just how many days are recorded as PTO for me. she shoots back instantly: 10.5 days; 1.5 over your allowance.
really?
i must have lost 1.5 days, i say - can you tell me what days you have? about an hour goes by and she sends me a breakdown. 3 of the days we doctor's appointments and she has recorded: 1/2 day.
i'm being docked a 1/2 days' vacation for doctor's appointments? i ask. even on days when the appt was @ 9.30a, i was most likely in the office by 11a and certainly worked through lunch. what about the days when i only left 2 or 3 hours early? (and worked thru lunch)
"i cannot make any changes please work this out with GM and your boss" and cc'd the GM and boss.
well, 1st of all - i didn't ask her to make any changes. if i asked her to do anything it was to clarify a certain part of company policy that is obviously somewhat unclear. the part that says : dr. appt = 1/2 day vacation.
so i thank her for her uselessness and request that the GM and boss address this issue.
i talk to the boss the next morning - and he's telling me the song & dance about how no one knew i was gone, no one knows if i work thru lunch and all this bullshit.
really?
so you are telling me that you are going to dock a salaried exempt employee - a DIRECTOR - for going to the doctor? not only do i think that is shitty, but i am not all together sure that it is legal. i mean hey - it's HIS game, his bat & ball, he can play it how he wants - but i'm calling it shitty. i was not out 1/2 days.
his solution - and he offers it as if he and the GM debated it and came up with this brilliant idea - was to offer me 1.5 days from HIS vacation time.
while i appreciate the sacrifice and admire such an offer - it's not neccesarry and it's bullshit. again, i am a salaried employee - in all my years working - i have NEVER been penalized PTO for dr. appts. this is unheard of. i am not a 20 year old kid scamming out of work (ok, sometimes i am) but come on! i schedule my appts as late or as early in the day as possible - so as not to interfere with our "busy schedule" (which is bullshit) and by the way, constanting reitterating to me that you think you are more than understanding about my dr appt's is not being understanding - it's telling me - hey - you have a lot of dr appts. furthermore THREE appt's in 8 months is NOT a lot.
so bossman tells me to send him and GM an email, mapping out the time off, including scheduled vacation, when i worked from home sick days, dr. appts, work thru lunch, etc. so i do.
he comes back at me about vacation days in which i either worked from home for a portion of the day or checked in. saying vacation days are vacation days, whether you were available or not.
oh really? ok then - i will treat those days as such going forward. (motherfucker)
this was tuesday.
wednesday i get up early because, as requested, i come in a full hour early every wednesday to get reports out to our clients.
wait a minute.
i've been coming in an hour early for over 6 weeks now and you're docking me vacation time. oh heheHELL no. i send the boss an IM telling him so. he said to send in email. so i did, thuroughly. to the point that by 12/16, i will have made up for ANY missed time, and by the end of the year, have 2.5 hours that THEY owe ME!
all the while i am looking into the CA labor laws and becoming quite well versed on what is permissible for salaried/exempt employees. i am a salaried/exempt employee because of my experience and professionalism - and i essentially can make my own hours. if i feel that i can do my job in 4 days - they still need to pay me my full salary. so if i can do my job AND leave early for the dr - YOU STILL HAVE TO PAY ME! the employer can only reduce my salary by a 1/5 if i missed 4 or more hours and it must be PRE- DISPOSED and must be written as such, as bona fide policy in the employee handbook.
ultimately, they acquiessed. i do not OWE any time, and i do not have any PTO left (which jives w my records) fine. i win.
but i'm still thinking of filing a claim with the state for harassment. this was undue stress, absolutely uncalled for and again, not quite legal.
this place is a joke.
it irritates me to no end when someone thinks they can get away with something. push ME around will ya! i'm not a fucking kid trying to make it in this business. i'm not afraid of you and you can't fuck with me!

NAMIisaslowmovingbeast

beauracracy exists on every level. i don't know how anything gets done EVER. everyting goes to committeee - website development, brochures, labels, stamped envelopes! what about the families?! what about the people that need the help - desperately!! we have a meeting this week - i'm taking over the agenda (preparing it and taking notes) meanwhile - i find that my pet project is pending eviction. should i bring it up at the meeting - see what we can do to help? is NAMI there for crisis support? maybe i can ask.

The day before one of my favorite days ever

so here we are - the day before hallowe'en...All Hallow's Eve. my favorite time of year! i should be super excited and in a great mood, but i'm not. i'm kinda bummed out and mopey. the only reason i can think of is work. (the whole 'i hate my job, this sucks, etc. etc.)
the good thing is that the work day is almost over. no plans for this evening - hopefully carve a few more pumpkins. the one we carved on sunday died already cuz it's been stupid hot here! (i cold live in FL for this heat! what the f?)
i'm sure i'll shake it off when i get out of here.
last week was the costume party - which really didn't turn out too many exciting costumes - tomorrow will be the traditional visit to the friend's house after handing out candy at ours. the block off the streets and have tons and tons of trick or treaters which is great.
dude said i might get a hallowe'en prezzie. that's always something nice to look forward to! that reminds me - i should go order the xms gift he sent me as an idea.
have a wonderfully frightening time this weekend! scare as many small children as you can! it's good for them!

new prospects

i submitted my resume to 2 jobs today at a company i really want to work for. i interviewed with them before, about 2.5 or 3 years ago and they either decided to hire internally or not to fill the position at all (i'm sure i still have the email - i should look into that)
i'm getting more stuff from my previous task list handed back to me and then some. which is a drag. it's not hard work - none of it is - i just don't want to do it. don't care to get any more engaged in this company than i already am!
NAMI is slow to go. i've entered some emailed to their site for newsletters, have some calls to make to confirm addy's + emails and go over. tomorrow i'm going to be discussing some program that they want to use to manage a database. i'm keen on that, moreso than anything else, i think. they all were looking at me like i was fresh meat at the meeting i went to last week. everyone involved in this group is so old! the treasurer is 70. they all have family and/or loved ones that are inflicted with some kind of severe mental illness, so they are also very impressed with the fact that i am not otherwise compromised by an emotional attachment. i really hope this opens the doors for other non-profit work for me. i'd realyl like to get into a real non-profit job, not just volunteer stuff. getting in at this point - when it's not fundraising season or "walk" season is good, too.

the narcissist revisted.

so, i asked the x for some of my property back, mind you, he "decided" i could not have my cats. my last communication to him wsa "now i hate you" i was as direct, even moreso, that i could ever be with him...here's how it went down (names have been XXXed out to protect the identity of the innocent)
me to him:

Now that some of the dust has settled - I was wondering if it wouldn't be
too much trouble to address some personal belongings of mine that you have
decided to keep as your own. I would like them back, (or at least the
opportunity to refuse) and I would also appreciate at least a gentlemanly
attempt for some reciprocation.

washer + dryer

refrigerator

microwave (purchased with birthday money from my mother)

television (or cash equivalent for the exchange between you and sunny - $200 the TV was a christmas gift to me from my mother)

jack skelington cookie jar (taken out of my hands during my move - did
you lose or break yours? because it is not in with my hallowee'n items as you so
aggressively protested - i already had a cookie jar stolen in new orleans if you
recall, i would appreciate the return of mine, please)

if you have come across it, the red wig from pirate wench costume (that's not with my stuff either)

lastly, any financial offer you would deem appropriate as a mere attempt to replace the 401k i withdrew after virgin that i used to to pay your half of everything while i was out of work. that was my retirement and tax money, it was not to be used to pay your 1/2 of rent, cable, DWP, gas from december 2006 through april of 2007. i don't expect this, i'm sure you think it was my obligation to spend whatever money i (or my mother) had to keep a roof over our heads, and i certainly am not trying to go back to every last dime spent (you vs. me and my mother) - but i put aside exactly $2000 from the 401k withdrawal so that i could pay the taxes on it the following year. i had to use that money when you had nothing to contribute on household living and have had to pay dearly for it in back taxes, interest and penalties.

reply as you see fit - do as you wish, as always.

--
and then, his diabtribe:

I wasn't even going to respond to this, as you have the tact and gentility of a
bulldozer (you should really work on that for your own benefit, especially when
you want something from someone), but here goes...
I'm currently in the middle of handling the estate of my Mom and the moneys and dealings of this are still up in the air. I will think about compensating you in some way, although, as I've just mentioned, your less than friendly letter to me here has already pissed me off, so, we'll see if I decide to give you anything. I could even be
petty and say that you got my best friend and caused me a ton of emotional and
mental anguish, as well as the work I did to build/create things for you (make
Halloween Costumes, build CD wall-units, etc.) in the ten+ years we went out,
but I won't. As far as I see it, we're kind of even, if nothing more than in a
"Universal"-kind of way.
I also need to remind you that, when you moved out, you never, ever stated that you wanted the Microwave, Washer and Dryer or refrigerator. You actually (if you remember) told me to keep them, as you didn't want to move or deal with them. I did, have been storing them in my house, then storage unit I've been paying for this past year (you had over a year to ask for them back and never did), and just sold them at a garage sale yesterday. I still have the dryer here if you're interested, but you'll have to arrange a time and method of picking it up. I still have your Jack cookie jar and came across it in my storage while clearing stuff out for the sale. I also came across the Jerry Lee Lewis framed poster of yours, as well as a few other things, which I will gladly give all back to you (as well as XXX's Bass Guitar and Vocal
Microphone). I would've done it sooner, but I have been dealing with the immense
task of taking care of (and interring) my mother, moving out of the Bassett
house and moving XXX (the mail order bride - ed) out and trying to get settled in this house. I do owe
you for the TV and will pay you for it as soon as I am able (I had XXXX buy the
Redhead Big Fig for you and she deducted it from what she owed us for the TV,
which I was unable to pay back to you). I honestly thought I did not have your
cookie jar in my posession. It was deep inside a box of other Halloween
decorations. There was no foul play here, as you strongly suspect, just a lot of
stuff that got lost in the shuffle. I do not know where the Redhead wig is, but
if I come across it, I'll get it back to you. I have no use for it.
I don't expect, nor do I care if you believe this or not, but I never thought you had
any "Obligation" to spend whatever money you spent on our bills. I assumed, as
many people do, when in a relationship built on love and support, that both are
"All for one", "in it together", and take care of each other, no matter what.
That's how I am with XXX (the mail order bride - ed) - we are there for each other no matter what and money is no object. If I have it, I pay, if she does, she does. Right now, I pay for everything and I am fine with that. When she gets settled, she will pay for things - we both will, at different times. Not that big a deal to us. It's our
money. it's all for the good of both of us, we both benefit. If I had to pay for
everything for the next five years, I'd be fine with that (and I would die
before I made her feel bad about it). To me, that's what love is. There is no
resentment caused by it. I was foolish to think you thought that way too, and
I'm sorry.
Oh, and in case you forgot (since you love to drive home the fact
about how much your Mom sacrificed for us) - my Mom let us live, rent-free - for
FIVE YEARS in her home and showered you with a ton of nice gifts. You're not the
only one.
Let me once again remind you, XXXX - you got what you wanted in
this. You got to get away from me and have your freedom. It's what You wanted.
Everything in life has sacrifices. Everything. You also got a number of my
longtime friends (some of which, I'm actually not sad to be rid of, as they
showed their true colors in all of this). I lost things in this, too. I lost my
girlfriend, whom I loved dearly, my life I had enjoyed with her, as well as a
lot of posessions we shared together, some of my friends...you always like to
act the hurt party, like it was always this terrible experience, like I was this
horrible drain to your life and never gave you any joy, whatsoever. I'm sure,
when you tell all of my ex-friends how horrible I was (I can only imagine), you
must always leave out how I made Christmas Stockings you loved, CD shelves you
filled, dressers I stained and distressed, costumes I created, masks I made,
gifts I bought you for no reason, etc.. I was destroyed by your leaving. I was
only because of a few, loyal and amazing friends - and my wonderful family -
that I managed to get on and once again find some happiness. So, next time you
want to throw your hand to your head and cry out "Oh, woe is me - XXX ruined my
life!", just think about that for a second.
This is the last I will discuss about this, as I am insanely busy trying to get settled into my new life. I will contact you when a time can be arranged for me to give you back your things (it will be over the next month, as I will have to find the stuff in
storage). Please do not start harassing me with countless, vicious e-mails. If
you do, you will never hear from me again and forgo every bit of your things.

7 paragraphs, including at least 1 threat - just to tell me, he'll think about it. this is what i dealt with for 10 years. no, he didn't ruin me, he didn't ruin my life. on the contrary - i am quite grateful and satisfied with what my life has become - and i ultimately have him to thank. i didn't live in his mother's house rent free. i paid her rent - not because she asked, but because it was the right thing to do. the only reason i lived there as long as i did (and it wasn't 5 years, it was only 3) was because i was waiting for him to get his shit together for us to move out. i moved out on my own in 2001 - and that was after he chansed me around a locked room trying to strangle me and i called 911. even at that, he practically lived with me the whole time. just assumed his residency into the apartment. i could go, point for point and try to contest and defend myself and correct him where i think he is wrong, but there is no point. there is no reasoning for a narcissist and citing his innaccuracies will only enrage him.
he carries so much anger with him. i promise you, the first fight he has with this poor girl if money is invlolved in anyway she will get all of the anger, hatred and resentment he has towards me over this. we didn't break up over money, we broke up over lack of support and god awful sex. i needed emotional and physical support - he did not provide it. i needed a compassionate, giving lover - he was not. i needed a bogger dick, or someone who knew how to use a small one. we just didn't work physically. at this point, it's about money and things. not much else. the tone of his response is very much like "if you had only stuck around, all of this could be yours" like i should be kicking myself or something. i am not, and i never will be. i am so much happier with my life, yes. he should be nothing but happy with his and willing to get the "things" out of the way. i hope they are happy together, i really do. i hope he is happy and able to support and she him for the rest of their lives. better him than me. we should not have been together as long as we were, i am ashamed to admit. but if he hadn't stayed together as long, i wouldn't be where i am now, and to the x, i am eternally grateful for that.
i opted out of any gentility, knowing full well that it would only encourage a greater dialogue with him, which i need to avoid at all possible costs, including never seeing any of my stuff again. and he obviously feels defensive for having sold some of my stuff over the weekend. sure dude, take the house, the cats, everything AND sell it to make a profit...awesome. with out even a moment of pause to contact me and ask me if i want anything back! and as far as the TV - he sold it to a friend, who then deducted the cost from an item he bought me for our anniversary. - so wait - i PAID for my anniversary present, too? that i left with him?!? wow.
so my response to him was simply something to the effect of: all plesantries aside, thank you for the quick response and i look forward to hearing from you soon.
the other funny thing is years ago, when his band broke up, he sent the singer of the band a certified letter, emploring and not far from DEMANDING that the lead singer pay him for lost wages. he felt that he was right and just to do so. the singer never even gave him the decency of a response, let alone offer to compensate him. i guess i am now also grateful for a response. i am not looking forward to the few other things he has found that are mine.