drukqs?

so let's talk drugs for a minute, shall we?

i've done them. lots of them. not all, but a good portion of them. i am not an addict, nor am i a junkie. i've never cheated or stolen for drugs. i probably lied at one point or another, only to protect the naive, like my mother, from ever know how "experienced" her baby girl was. is. whatever.
now, compared to what kids are doing these days, and even what they were doing 10 or 12 years ago - we were lightweights. candyflipping? maybe once, but i don't think i ever did - that was for blarry and maybe deanqueen every so often - we didn't do THAT much. just every weekend. and not nearly as much as kids do these days. i remember after i stopped using for years, coming across and reading about kids dosing 10-12 to even 20 hits of whatever they could get their grimey hands on, then candyflipping with even more doses, drinking on top of that - no wonder they were dropping dead at raves. no wonder parents were scared.
see, we were doing this way before the Rave Culture caught on, even before they started calling them "Club Kids" in NYC. we were before that, it's just that no one really noticed or paid much attention to the 6-10 of us running around high as kites in the clubs in miami & ft lauderdale to give us a name. the closest we came to that was being referred to as "the blackouts" at copa by all the gays that were afraid of us. the way we looked, they assumed we were on drugs, so why bother to confirm. we walked around saying to ourselves and to each other like a mantra: "nobody knows i'm high." meanwhile, "everybody thinks i'm high and i am" as thrill kill kult would whisper to us in our ears through remixes.
high meant to us...at least 1/4 or 1/2 a hit of acid. rainbow was the strongest, and becky was the dealer. she was a tall, masculine lesbian, who, legend has it kicked a woman in the stomach once. turns out the truth to that story was that she kicked someone's car once. she wore combat boots and was pretty scary looking. more on her later...anyway - she had the acid - she lived across the way from "mark&gregory" and dean. (you had to refer to them as "mark&gregory" in the same breath, they were almost always together, i never knew if there was anything between them, i'm sure there was at once point, but i think mark was too much of a drama queen for gregory in the long run) it was something like $20 bucks a hit - and we scrounged together that money with no job each week to buy at least 1 hit to split. the great thing about drugs like this, is people want you to experience with them, so a lot of the time, it was given to me/us by those in the group who worked and had the money. it was strong shit. i mean 1/4 hit and you felt good for the whole nite. you're eyes fluttered, you lost track of conversations; things didn't "melt" you didn't really see "trails" however, in a club with flashing lights and pulsing sounds, it would be hard to tell exactly what visual effect you were experiencing. oh, and you would dance! music sounded WONDERFUL and you wanted to dance to it. (but only the songs you liked)it was a small dancefloor, the dj booth was perched above with a window looking over it, so i wonder in hindsight what the dj thought when he saw our gimaced faces aimed upwards in auditory bliss, moving our bodies in ways that no one else on the dancefloor seemed to move. when the dj would play something we didn't like, our grimace changed to a sneer and we'd go out to the car to smoke.
we were the only ones who looked the way we did and the only ones that would all dance to pretty much the same songs at the same time.
some of us did more than others, but i don't think any of us did more than 2 whole hits of rainbow at a time. i'm telling you, the shit was strong. IF you went to sleep - you were WRECKED the next day. wiped out, lazy yet kinda wired. you couldn't eat or sleep really, just walked around like a zombie (which is ANOTHER blog all together) all pasty and pale, mark used to call it "bisque". makeup from the night before accensuating the dark circles under your eyes.
when we couldn't get the acid because becky was out, or even on alternating weeks, we'd buy MDA. now, let me explain MDA, not to be confused with MDMA, or ecstacy. MDA was/is different. helene, becky's girlfriend used to bring it back with her from canada. helene was french canadian, i hardly ever heard her speak. she would just stare with big, dark eyes - like some kind of racoon or something, smoking cigarettes. there is something in the chemical make-up of MDA, that to the best of my research, is less of a "love drug" like e, and more like a fuck drug. there was an edge to it. and it was strong as shit, too. at $15 bucks a hit, we'd split one and be rolling our balls off for 6 hours straight! there was no question whether it was good or not, or how long it might last. my chief complaint with e ..."am i feeling anything, am i high yet?" your eyes roll back in your head once and that's it?! for $30 bucks?!? get outta here! my comparison between the two was this: on e you looove everybody, touching and petting is nice. MDA - you wanna fuck anything that moves! your eyes roll back over and over again, you can't finish a sentence without a roll of euphoria, you work your jaw, grin a wicked grin from ear to ear all from 1/2 a hit! it came in a capsule, and was pure. not like powdered e you get now that is cut to shit with laxative and vitamin b or speed so you grind your teeth to a nub or chew holes in your cheeks. (as i'm known to do!)
like most users, we had our rituals. we'd all drop at a designated place on our way to fire & ice, in the garment district in miami. a place i never went to by day. only on weekend nites, usually saturday because fridays were dead for some reason. we'd drop as we passed the hotel. sometime smoking on the way, but definitely smoking before we went in to the club. we'd come stomping up all black and flowing - a mini-mob freakshow. the drugs would be just kicking in by that time, and i don't really remember ever having to wait in line. was there much of a line? come to think of it - we would get to the club before 11p, before they started charging cover. see, we used what money we had to dose, or maybe even to have a drink, which wasn't often because we were underage. some of the bartenders didn't check for the right stamp or whatever was needed to drink & we'd go to that bartender all the time - until we were found out - and that's another blog, too. so that was it - get there before 11, get stamped, walk in to an empty club - hang out for a short while, then go back out to smoke more - and really start "feeling it."