still nothing, huh?

so the dude is getting weird again. his life is spiraling downward and nothing i can do can help him. his in financial distress, not as a result of the nation's economic downturn - but that certainly doesn't help. he can't find work and he's out of money. he chose a path 5 years ago that has apprarently lead to disaster for him. he walk away from a successful career to follow his dream that is not all but shattered.

and i cannot help.

i try to tell him that i'm here for him, to help him. i have a pittance of an inheritance that i can use to help "US" through this difficult time. knowing that it is only temporary, and he supported me, and will continue to support me.
he is not wired that way. he's never had anyone take care of him, and is not accustomed to it. he cannot accept it. which effectively tells me - that he cannot accept our relationship as a partnership. he's not invested in the "US" - he is invested in me, and being with me, but not in what it means for us to be in a sharing commited relationship together.
he was married. twice. the 1st time he was too young, their lives were taking different paths, so the split was somewhat amicalble. the second was a sham. she cheated on him and used him to get a green card and get into the US. she destroyed his credit and reinforced is abandonement issues with women, and he has refused to commit since. he loves, he gives, he affectionate, and kind - generous to a fault - but will not submit completely and expose himself to such heartache and betrayal.
but i keep working on him. my new strategy is to continue to remind him that we are in this together. and that we can be remarkably strong together and make it through this. i don't know if it's working yet.